Home - Her Story... - You look so peaceful... - Explanation... - Stay Calm! - Headlines... - The Flag - The Story in a Box
How do I wake up - The Best - A Faithful Friend - The Flag - Red Rubbish Bin - The Mountain Top - So Fast

Her story was my story but not your story

Dearest Sandy,
Allow me to tell you a story and I won't spoil the ending. It starts like most so here we go. Once upon a time, there was a young woman who had a baby out of wedlock and because of her family's position in society she had to give the baby up and let no one know she had ever been pregnant. The young woman grew up in a time where you did as you were told without asking questions no matter how the decision emotionally affected you. So, the young woman gave up her baby, a girl, with unspoken feelings of regret and remorse. The young woman never forgot about her little girl she had to give away keeping the memories and regretful feelings bottled up inside for years to come. She went on to become the wife of a prominent man almost as wealthy as her own family. She was the perfect wife that she had been brought up to become and gave her husband seven children. Though she raised these children as her own there was always a feeling of distance because of her loss of her first child. According to her parent's instruction, the woman never told her husband or children or even dearest friends about the first daughter she'd had and instead lived the life that her society had intended for her to live.

Let me now take you to another time and another society and maybe start over again. Once upon a time, there was a young couple who lived in a very bad neighborhood in a very bad city. The husband was a drunk and was abusive toward his wife. However the man determined to have children and abused his wife because she wouldn't give him any. The young woman was too scared to leave her abusive husband for fear he might come after her so she lived with him. The young wife finally became pregnant but was too scared to tell her husband so she wore clothes that were too big for her to hide it as best she could. Despite her efforts, five months into her pregnancy her husband found her out. He was so happy he immediately stopped beating his wife-to bad that only lasted for the first week. Through-out the remainder of the pregnancy the man did beat his wife a lot less and when he started to she would remind him of his baby she was carrying and he would stop. The time came for the baby to be born and it happened while the man was at his job. The woman took herself to the hospital and had the baby. Because of the beatings the wife had gone through during her pregnancy the baby was born very brain damaged and died within a few hours of being born. The young woman although very sad over her loss was afraid her husband would go back to beating her if he found out, so she determined to find a baby to pretend was her own. The woman spent a few hours in recovery and then went in search of a baby. Through back alley ways she went, searching in dumpsters and eventually coming upon a river. Sure enough floating along in the water was a baby basket. The woman ran into the water and grabbed the basket to pull it up onto shore. The young wife opened the basket to find a baby girl inside with, like all abandoned babies in the stories, a note attached. The note said "She was born into high class society and was meant for a life of luxury". The woman took the baby home and cared for her as her own. The husband came home and was never again abusive toward his wife at least when the baby was around. The young wife had been weakened by the birth and her health began to decline. When the daughter was four years old, her mother died from overall a weakened body caused by malnourishment, abuse, and an std her husband had passed on to her. The husband saw this death as the daughter's fault and quickly fell back into his abusive habits taking out his anger on his four year old. The young girl quickly learned to fight back and to hide from her father. She learned to fend for herself and lived in fear of father for the next three years. At seven, she determined to run away. When her father caught her, he locked her in a closet after beating her and left her there when he left for work the next day. The little girl spent many nights in that closet over the next several years and even called it her second bedroom. At ten years old, she was spending the night at friend's houses more than her own. Her father would beat her when she came home for leaving without his permission so she tried to come in after he was drunk asleep. In the following years the girl sought out comfort in every form known to man; everything except alcohol because of what she had seen it do to her father. Her father lost his job when she was fourteen and became very depressed and began to abuse his daughter more even sexually now. The girl had become like her mother in that she was too scared to leave him and the girl knew no other life. She became very withdrawn wanting to let no one in for fear they would find out her story. She never talked to boys or got a boyfriend for fear they would see her bruised and beaten body and tell the world her secret. At sixteen she found herself pregnant with her father's child. She took all the money she had, packed her things and traveled to a large city nearby. As she was walking down the street, she got invited into a crisis pregnancy center for a meal and a change of clothes. She thankfully accepted and went in. As she was finishing her meal a wealthy looking lady walked up to a podium and began to speak. The girl hung on her every word as the lady spoke about being a pregnant teen and being forced to give up her baby because of family circumstances. The lady told the girls how to this day she regretted the decision and had started to search for her baby she had given away. The lady told of the pain she had kept inside for so long, not telling anyone even her husband about her abandoned daughter and how much relief she felt when she told him and when she told her many children. The lady finished speaking and the girl went up to speak with her. The girl told the lady how she felt as if the lady had been speaking directly to her that day and about her situation and how after listening to the speech she was determined to keep her baby and raise it as best she could no matter what her society told her. The girl left the center and found herself a place to live and a job. Three months down the road about two months before the baby was due the girl received word her father had committed suicide. She went back to see if there was anything she wanted to claim from among his possessions. She found a box full of her mother's things and in the very bottom of the box there was an envelope addressed to her. She opened it and found a letter with a post-it on it. The post-it said "To the girl I raised, I found this in your jacket the day I found you in the river, it will explain your past, but remember you will always be my daughter-mom". The girl started to get teary eyed but opened the letter anyway and began to read. The letter said "To my daughter, never think I didn't love you and know I didn't willingly give you away. I come from a very high class family where everything is expected to be perfect. I was meant to grow up and be taught how to be the perfect wife, then I would marry a wealthy man and serve at his side raising his children to become perfect little house wives and wealthy, prominent men. The story started out a bit differently when my father raped me at sixteen and I got pregnant. He told me no one could ever know. I had to give the baby away and tell my mother that I had been promiscuous with a boyfriend that didn't exist. So I gave you away and I will always regret that decision but I promise you that years down the road when you are older I will make every attempt to find you and make you my daughter once again. I promise. - your mother."

Was this letter from the same woman who spoke at the center, maybe but in her day that situation was very common and this letter could be the same one several young ladies wrote in that time period.

The girl had her baby and later on was married and had other children. She was however very careful to make sure her children were never abused as she and her mother were and told her daughters her story so they would know the effects of their decisions if they ever had to make that choice. The End.